Showing posts from 2014


I'm so bored right now. But I don't want to go out either because its the weekend and all the places will be too crowded. I drove up to KL earlier today. It's been quite some time since I drove alone. Normally Kyle will be the one driving. But he's busy this time so I came alone. Actually here to walk around with my mum. She's coming tomorrow morning. So I came here a day earlier since the flight lands so early in the morning. 
The wifi at the hotel is so slow and there's so much noise from God knows where. At the check-in counter when the guy asked me whether I want a twin bed room or king sized bed room, I told him that my booking is for a twin bed room. But he "upgraded" it for free. Now I'm wishing that he hadn't done that. Coz this is one of those connecting type of rooms and although there's a door, its quite noisy. So I'm a bit annoyed. And did I mention slow wifi. It's basically useless. And the window in this room can'…


It's never easy to see people leave. Especially if they are important people in your life. I went to the airport a couple of days ago to send Peanut off. And I won't be seeing him for another year because our schedules are so different that we won't be in the same area at any given time until November next year. 
Now that I think back about it, four years has passed by in the blink of an eye. It seems as if it was just yesterday that we met. All that was so awkward. Honestly, one of the many reasons that this friendship means so much to me is coz this is the only one that I have initiated in my entire life. I'm very introverted. I do not approach people and strike up a conversation just like that. But that was one of the things on my to-do list that year. Initiate a conversation with a stranger and maintain a friendship. Another reason is because he accepted me for how I look and who I am with all my quirks. I think that's a very important thing. Everyone is so st…


Again, I've been meaning to write a lot of things here. But I've been quite busy lately. There's that and me being lazy. And the lack of privacy. Hmm, maybe not privacy. But I just don't feel comfortable blogging when my boyfriend is in the house although he will definitely read it lateron. I don't know. It's a difficult thing to explain.
Today has been a hectic and memorable day. And not in the good way. My tutor was sick and he had to stop the class halfway. Since I was the only one who knew how to drive, he asked me to drive him back to his house in his car. Here's the thing, I have never ever driven a sedan. Obviously I was scared. And I'm terrible with directions. On top of that, this was our first day at this very clinic. So I didn't know my way around at all. I drove to my tutor's house and he was going to call a cab for us to go back to the clinic since my car was there. Before he could call a cab, his wife came out and told him that sh…


I just realised that lately, the only times I write here is when I have no other outlet.
I haven't been able to sleep lately. And it is extremely tiring because I have to wake up at 6am almost every single day to go to the hospital. Which is going to get worse next year coz I'll be in Melbourne. That's another thing. None of my friends are going to be at any of the hospitals that I'm attached to next year. We were randomly allocated. Meh. Moving to a new city and getting to know strangers sounds scary. And I'm not ready for that.


Today has not been a good day. Had a session in the morning with one of the most angry surgeons ever. I've heard rumours about this doctor but chose not to believe it coz most of the time the rumours aren't true. But not this one. This scene from MPGIS actually describes her very well (0:57 to 1:22).

We were asked about IV fluids and I didn't remember the exact calculation. Normally it wouldn't have affected me that much. But I actually prepared for this session before going in and I honestly forgot to read up on it in such a great detail. Like, I know the basics which clearly wasn't enough. Besides, emergency medicine is a final year topic and I didn't think that we'd be asked about it today.
Anyway, last week I had a major presentation. I was the second person to present and the moment I saw my classmate's slides I started panicking. Because she included something that I thought was compulsory and I completely forgot about it. Turns out it was option…


I've been listening to Lucky Ones by Lana Del Rey on a loop the entire day. 
Quite stressed about this presentation I'm having soon. The thing is, I haven't started on it because I can't find a proper article/topic. Ugh. 
So the other day I accidentally stumbled across one of my tutor's facebook account and I found out his blog. I've been reading a few of the articles and I still can't decide whether he's homophobic or not. Coz he gives a lot of talks in various churches here in JB. And he has actually given a few talks on the topic so I was just curious. Mainly he posts various talks about other people and asks the view of his readers. ><


This isn't going to be the original post I intended to post here. Coz that draft was done almost a month ago and I was too lazy to update it. And now that I think about it, it doesn't seem like such a good idea to publish it anyway.
The trip to KL in June with Kyle's family has been cancelled coz he's busy. Instead it's going to be just the two of us for a weekend because he refuses to let me go alone. And the only time he can go now is the weekend. 
I've been watching MPGIS lately. It's super funny. You can watch Season 1, Season 2 and Season 3 here. My favorite characters would be Mackenzie and Brittnay. Has anyone else been watching it?

I used an app called Spark to make this video. Quite fun to use. And it has various filters that you can apply. Was testing it on the way back home the other night. I was craving for Gong Cha and we went out. I wonder whether the outlet at City Square is open. Coz it's much nearer to my place than driving all the way…


It has been one of those weeks where I've been asking myself over and over again whether I'm choosing the correct career. I feel like I don't know enough. And I have slightly over one and a half years before I graduate. Being a doctor is definitely not easy. And some people make such a big deal about the title "Dr". It's such a huge responsibility. I can't even begin to express how uncomfortable I feel when nurses/patients call me doctor now.
So I'm supposed to go to KL in June with Kyle's family. Hmm. To be really honest I'll feel very awkward even though they know me and I've stayed over at his place several times. And this is something I never do. Not even when my aunts and cousins ask me to go to places with them. Mainly because I cannot stand indecisive people. I know, I sound selfish. But I'm honestly torn. Part of me wants to go coz it'll make Kyle happy. Part of me doesn't want to go coz I'd rather go out and…


I'm supposed to be at the hospital following the morning ward rounds today. But I'm so fed up with it I decided to skip it. Besides, I have a presentation later today. Hmm I think this is the first one I've skipped this year.
I cannot stand my group mates. Being irresponsible and blaming it on "miscommunication" is so immature. Especially when we have a whatsapp group for discussion and when we had already discussed it. I normally try not to say anything at them because. Hmm I don't know why. But last week was just too much. If you're going to be irresponsible and unprofessional, that's fine by me. But don't drag me down with you.
I'm quite excited coz this is the last week of my current posting. One thing I've learnt is that I'm definitely not going to specialize in O&G. 

It feels like spring in JB now. Not the weather of course. The trees with the flowers.
Life has been quite meh. The most exciting thing that has happened recent…


Today has been a rather meh day. I'm not in the mood to do anything at all. I guess it's just one of those days. Peanut burned a CD with Lana Del Rey songs for me some time last year. I was listening to it on the way home a while ago and this one line from the song Gods & Monsters caught my attention. 
"If I get a little prettier can I be your baby?"
And I don't know why. That actually makes me feel sad. Partly because I used to ask myself the same question a few years ago. I still do. Especially on days like this.


3rd March 2014
This is going to be long.
I've been wanting to write about this for a very long time. But I didn't know where to start from.
It has been 2 years and 4 days since Luke passed away. I miss him a lot. And sometimes I feel guilty that I'm with Kyle. I guess it's because I never really had closure after our breakup all those years ago. Sometimes I wonder whether Luke is happy for me now. I guess I'll never know. A part of me doesn't want to know either.
Kyle and I went out for our anniversary dinner a few nights ago. We were searching for places and realised that there really isn't any nice place to go for dinner in JB. We did think about driving down to Singapore, but decided not to in the end.

12th March 2014
I don't think I've ever written how I met Kyle. Kyle sent me an email in 2011. Apparently he needed some help with something on his blog. I still don't believe him. It was something you can figure out by searching online. But we&#…


Life has been extremely hectic. On top of that I've been having a sore throat and runny nose that gets worse at night and early in the morning. Quite annoying really.
Yesterday was a.. I don't know how to describe it. A happy day? Observed a few deliveries in the labour room. The babies are so tiny and cute! And I normally don't like kids. It was quite exciting. Once I was done and about to leave I checked my phone and saw an email from Kyle. It was a valentine email. I think that's the sweetest thing ever.
Honestly I miss blogging and reading other blogs. But I can barely get 6 hours of sleep these days. ):


This entry has been long overdue and I've been extremely reluctant to write here. 
For starters, let me sum up 2013. 
Moving to JB was meh. I was excited about it initially until I realized just how disconnected it feels to be here from the rest of the world. Sure, Singapore is like a 20 minute drive away. But it's just different.  Academically 2013 was the hardest year. I cannot even begin to describe how stressful and tiring it was.  I met Kyle and I think that's the highlight of this year along with me passing the end of year exams.
So, for 2014, I don't have any particular resolutions. The only thing is that I want to improve myself and become a better person in all aspects.
Anyway, the trip to Bali with Kyle was wonderful. I think it was a much needed vacation for the both of us. 
After I came back from that trip I went to KL with my mum. It was such a nightmare. Reminded me why I left home in the first place. I guess our relationship is the best when we don'…