...because every page has a story to tell

Saturday, 4 February 2017


I've been helping out with my mum's work for the past couple of months. And now that I'm more free I've taken up more work. I'm mostly dealing with online stuff like responding to emails and organising things. But we had to hire a new staff so I'm in the process of getting everyone's applications. Dear God. People never read when they apply for jobs. If it were up to me I'll reject all the applicants because from the application alone I can see they're so incompetent. I can't even. Anyway, there are a handful of okay-ish applicants and I'm prepping the questions/tasks for the interview. Its a completely different experience to be on the other end of all of this. I'm actually enjoying this although its not my area of expertise. I just hope that we can hire someone who is a bit passionate about the job. 

I'm still thinking whether I should attend my graduation ceremony. I honestly don't feel like going because believe it or not, I don't feel like I have achieved anything with my MBBS. Like it doesn't feel special. 
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Friday, 27 January 2017


I've finally moved to KL and this place is a mess. Mostly because I haven't unpacked my stuff yet. I think one of the things I'm going to miss the most about JB is listening to 987 FM (SG radio station) on the way to the hospital and back everyday. 

A classmate of mine messaged me a few days ago. I wasn't expecting that at all because we haven't talked for five years. There has always been this awkwardness between us ever since the first time we talked. We met during the first week in uni and I was locked out of my room so he invited me to his place which was next door. And we spent almost 2 hours talking until my housemate realised that I was missing and came looking for me. I never knew what happened and we never talked after that. 

I've had this suspicion for a while now. A relative of mine knows that I'm gay because he's gay as well. He came over the other day with pizza and started his usual train of questions about Kyle. He knows we're together so I usually let things slide. And he wasn't aware that Kyle wasn't home last night when he came over. Lately he has been more persistent on the things that Kyle likes. He had a bit to drink that night and spilled everything. I'm feeling so uncomfortable about this entire situation. If you want to go around and sleep with everyone in the world, that's fine by me. But don't come into my house and stir shit up. Kyle has never liked him ever since the first day we met him. And I'm guessing its time for me to keep a distance as well.

I'm excited and terrified at the same time to go back to uni. Because I've spent the last few years mostly in the hospital and it has been completely different.

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Thursday, 19 January 2017


I have so many stuff that I've wanted to post here but honestly haven't had the time to sit down and type it. Hopefully I'll have more time in the next couple of days. So a lot of things have changed over the last month or so. I'm actually in the midst of moving to KL. This was a plan B that was originally my plan C. But shit happens. So yeah.

It hasn't been a smooth start for 2017. And I doubt its going to get any easier from this point onwards. But you never know what's going to happen next. 
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Wednesday, 28 December 2016


Things have quietened down for a few days. I feel like I haven't had inner peace since June this year. If that even makes sense. I just got back to Johor Bahru and I'm sick. Happens all the time. Its like I'm allergic to this place. I've spent the last month or so traveling around Malaysia. Kyle and I went on a road trip again and we decided to cover more places this time. We started our trip from KLIA and ended it at Johor Bahru. The trip itself was mostly good except for the part where we got into a very big fight. And I'm not sure whether things will be the same again. We're still together but it doesn't feel the same anymore. But I don't give up just like that, especially with our fourth anniversary coming soon. So lets see how this story tells itself.

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Thursday, 1 December 2016


I feel uncomfortable when I don't have plans. I have plans for my free days as well. I always need to know what is happening next. Ever since everyone found out that I'm basically done with studies, people have been asking me what I'm going to do next. Have I gotten a job? Where am I going to work and what not. All these questions make me very uncomfortable because I don't know the answer to any of it myself. And a lot of people assume that I say I don't know because I don't want to tell anyone. But that's not true. As of right now, I'm just trying to settle last minute paperwork for back up plans which popped out of nowhere. I'm not entirely sure that I want to do this at all even though I'm sort of committed to it now. More updates on that once I know what's happening.

It gets tiring at times because of my need to be in control of every single thing. And I'm glad I have Kyle to fall back on at times. He's in Singapore right now with my parents. I didn't go because I have some urgent stuff to settle here. And I actually need some time alone. 

I went to Ikea Cheras the other day with my parents and Kyle for breakfast before shopping and noticed that so many people literally steal the soft drinks by filling up their huge ass water bottles. When did this become a thing? 
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Saturday, 26 November 2016


So much has happened since I last posted here. I came back to Johor Bahru at the end of October, went home for a week during mid November and I'm now in KL. I haven't really had the chance to unpack anything properly. It has mostly been shifting around my stuff from one luggage to the other and maximising useable luggage space. My parents are coming over to KL in a couple of days and my biggest concern as always is how to squeeze in the luggage in the car boot.

Kyle planned a "surprise" birthday celebration for me. But I knew most of the stuff because he kept stuff lying around the house. And its hard to keep secrets from me anyway. But I love surprises. So that's there.

I loved the cake! It was really beautifully done and looked adorable. Kyle got me the 200mL Boy Chanel from the Les Exclusifs collection and it's the most expensive fragrance that I've ever had. I'm so worried I'll drop it one day! Lets just hope I don't. 'Quidditch Through The Ages' and 'The Tales Of Beedle The Bard' were books we came across during my last day in Melbourne and I didn't have enough cash to buy it that day. Kyle managed to find it here in Malaysia and bought them for me as well. <3

 These roses were part of the decor he did for my birthday.

Other than that, I also got a birthday gift from Kiehl's when I went there to buy the Turmeric & Cranberry Seed mask.

Birthdays have always been a special day for me. Mainly because I consider it as my real "me-day". I don't care what else is happening in my life, but that's the day I take a full break. And this year has been extra special because Kyle decided to surprise me with all of this. And I must admit, all of it made for some very nice photos as well.

So I went out with Y today. I don't have my driving license with me at the moment so he came to pick me up and we went out for breakfast. The last time we met was in January 2013. I'm so glad we managed to squeeze some time to meet up. His highness seems to be so busy with work all the time. He's someone I really value as a friend because no matter how long it has been, the awkwardness isn't there and it just feels like we met yesterday. Lets not wait another 3 years to meet again!

Quick photo of the eggs benedict I had!
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Monday, 24 October 2016


I have been so lazy lately. I started writing a blog post few days back and didn't know how to continue it. I need to get my laundry done tomorrow so that I can finally start packing. I'm excited to go back. But at the same time, I do hope this isn't my last time here. Because that's what I have been telling myself. That's what I have been telling everyone who asks me to visit random places here. And I'm like, I'm going to move to Australia and I have the rest of my life for that. But I still do not have a job and honestly that is scary. I've been trying to convince myself that if I can't get a job here as a doctor, I'm going to go in to research. But every time I step inside the hospital I'm reminded of why I chose this path and I don't think I can be fully committed and happy with just a research job. I know it sounds like a "first world problem", which is why I haven't really been able to talk to anyone about this openly.

I'm also flying back home during the first week of November and I'm staying for slightly over 2 weeks. I think that's the longest ever since I moved to KL/JB. I just hope there's no unnecessary drama because I want to be in peace during my time there. 
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