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The past couple of weeks have been crazy to say the least. I'm extremely honest when it comes to expressing how I feel. And quite a lot of times people don't like what I have to say. So I said something on the family group chat and some people were so offended that the group chat has been deleted. I thought that was the end of it because whatever I said was the truth and everyone knows it. Just because you don't want to accept it doesn't mean I can't say it. Needless to say I had several messages and phone calls and everything turned pretty nasty. I mean, I said what I had to say and left it at that. All the others couldn't stop talking about it and kept messaging me about how angry they were. I'm sorry that I can't be fake like the rest of them. 

I finalised all the paperwork for my graduation application changing my status to not attending. I mean, I know that I couldn't have completed my course without the help of a lot of people and I'm grateful for that. But at the end of the day, I believe that graduation day is partly about me and the effort I put in. Sure, a lot of people have supported me. But they're not the ones who experienced the stress and multiple personalities of high ranking people in the hospitals. No matter how I phrase it or try to explain it, it comes off as me being ungrateful. But I've made my final decision. Because 20 years from now I don't want to look back and regret that I attended my graduation even when I didn't want to go just because I had to please some people.

Kyle has been travelling between KL and JB since I moved here. He flies back to JB on Saturdays and comes back to KL on Mondays. Its not exactly the best arrangement since he's not around during the weekend. We've had several heated discussions about this as well. But at this point I think I need to compromise. We celebrated our 4th anniversary last month. I think this is the first year that we didn't go out to celebrate or exchange any gifts. We decided to cook at home but dinner was a disaster. I am a bit disappointed that we didn't do much this year. Because anniversary and birthdays are the occasions I want to celebrate. But I just didn't have it in me to do anything. Mostly because of all the arguments that have lately taken a huge impact on us. I don't want us to end things because I feel like we have put in way too much effort into this relationship and I don't want to start all over again with someone new. 

So there's this guy enrolled in my course who is a bit weird. He came up to me one day and told me that he talked about me with some of his friends and apparently they said they don't know me. I'm sure they know me because I've talked to them before and they've even added me on Facebook. But that's not the point. I mean, why would you come and tell me that you talked about me with others? Isn't it much better for you to directly ask me whatever you want.

There's so many new changes at the campus. The most noticeable one is the number of people. Dear God. The library was packed when I went early in the morning the other day. Previously that was something that only happened during the exam period. I'm provided with a workstation away from all that chaos. But its all the way at one end of the campus and secluded in a dark corridor where no one goes. So I've been mostly doing my work at home. I only go in if I have to attend a class, which is rare.

I got a message from my AirBnB host the other day. I stayed with her when I was in Melbourne last year. So it turns out that two people who are staying there told her they know me and that we're friends. I told her that I don't have any friends in Melbourne that I know of. And she sent me their names. I don't even know these people. Why would they lie and say they know me? Because apparently she showed them my photo to check whether they really knew me and they said yes. 

So many crazy things happening around me.

Comments

  1. Here is my grandma story! I could feel your pain and multiple headaches dealing with people with different thoughts. You seem to have arrived at another crossroads of life and met all the different frequencies. Just be strong, firm and patient to stay afloat and divert your path towards happier pastures. Everything will be calm and smooth again just like the waves of the ocean. The storms and rough tides are not permanent but they do come & go always. By then, your ship would be bigger to withstand all storms. Just my 2 cents.

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