A lack of deadlines has made me extremely unmotivated. Lazy, to be honest. On top of that, my mother is coming by next week, so that's not going to be fun either. We haven't been agreeing about a lot of things lately and I'm quite stressed out about it. On top of that, she keeps asking me about whether I plan to get married. People have been telling me that my mother probably knows that Kyle and I are together. But I'm starting to doubt that. And her faith in God is so strong that its unbearable at times. So yeah, not looking forward to the next couple of weeks. Kyle's irritating habits aren't helping with things either. I just can't stand him sometimes and honestly I feel like driving off somewhere far and being alone for a few days.
Things have quietened down for a few days. I feel like I haven't had inner peace since June this year. If that even makes sense. I just got back to Johor Bahru and I'm sick. Happens all the time. Its like I'm allergic to this place. I've spent the last month or so traveling around Malaysia. Kyle and I went on a road trip again and we decided to cover more places this time. We started our trip from KLIA and ended it at Johor Bahru. The trip itself was mostly good except for the part where we got into a very big fight. And I'm not sure whether things will be the same again. We're still together but it doesn't feel the same anymore. But I don't give up just like that, especially with our fourth anniversary coming soon. So lets see how this story tells itself.
The topic of Kyle and I getting married came up again the other day. We've had this discussion few years back as well. For some reason, everything has happened so fast in our relationship. Kyle moved in with me 3 months or so after we started dating. And we've been living together since then. At this point, I don't see what difference it makes whether we're married or not. Because we live together, share all the expenses and talk to each other about major decisions. But something Kyle said the other day got me thinking. He said that he is not ready to get married right now. And I'm okay with that. But honestly, what difference does a title make at this point? Am I missing something?